The Accidental Husband

This movie interested me because Denny from Grey's Anatomy is in it. Jeffrey Dean Morgan always looks sooo handsome and slightly terminally ill. I mean, dude gets cast as a dead guy multiple times. Izzie cuts the valves & ruins the show (but man that was an amazing dress). He was the dead patriarch on Supernatural which I am surprised I never got into AND He also is the deceased Judah Botwin on Weeds. It really makes me wonder if Nancy & her "boo-hoo I won't sleep with my hot, hilarious brother-in-law but I can consistently sip iced coffee & wear these short shorts after being a mother of three" ass ever deserved him. Probably not, Nancy. You ruined everything after you decided not to pursue Conrad and live happily ever after. But back to Denny--Jeffrey Dean Morgan-- he has those dreamy "I'll play baseball with our children" eyes. Swoon.

In this movie The Accidental Husband he lives in Astoria and sports an exaggerated Bronxish/Brooklinish/Queensish accent & is employed as a NYC city fireman. I must note he is way better at being a fireman than friggin' Dean Cain. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is not going to run around in a cape (not even in The Watchmen) and he would never pursue Denise Richards (Sorry, Denise, you're so pretty!)

So we're in New York City, and the film is actually shot in NYC props props. There are little flower stand bodegas & bars full of really attractive man having drinks together. A note on the latter: the inaccuracy of this bar is that it is not Splash, The Metropolitan, The Monster or The Eagle or any other gay bar du juor it is just a sports bar with no women in except Uma Thurman. Yeah, she is in this movie too.

(Is this even a real lifetime original? It seems too high budget. Okay, I just googled it apparently they released this one in theaters. The sets were a give away. Lifetime doesn't shoot on location, they shoot in Canada. Regardless, this is Made for TV material.)

Uma Thurman is a radio host, Dr. Emma Lloyd. Within the first 10 minutes of the movie Dr.Lloyd (Thurman) gives some advice to a bride to be. Telling said bride to break-up with her fiance. She listens to the advice. Guess who the fiance is? Alright, I already gave it away. It's Denny errr Patrick Sullivan. Patrick is rightfully pissed at the C U Next Tuesday Dr.Lloyd so out of spite he has his whiz kid neighbor hack into the public records and instead of giving the good lady a D.U.I or registering her as a sex offender he has whiz kid change the public record to say that he Patrick Sullivan and the marriage-wrecker-advice-giver Dr.Lloyd are married! Dun da dun.

I should start doing this. Sorry asshole, we're married! Surprise!!!!

Uma could have gone forever without finding out, but she is supposed to marry Colin Firth. I am not even going to bother learning his movie name. Anyway she can't marry Colin Firth because she's already married to Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

Now this is how we got to the sports bar full of hot straight men earlier. Uma tracks down "Patrick Sullivan of ASTORIA, NEW YORK) which is in Queens btw. She then precedes to do a bunch of shots, remove the top of her suit jacket and recite the names of the presidents. She gets so sloppy wasted while trying to serve him divorce papers that she passes out. Patrick Sullivan being the ideal bro flings Thurman over his shoulder & puts her to bed for the night. You have to appreciate a man carrying a woman cave man style. This only has happened to me once and I am pretty sure it was after I spent the evening projectile vomiting. Whoops.

Here is the part where they always lose me and make me feel like I go about all of my relationships the wrong way.

The day after Emma Lloyd passes out in firefighters bed she wakes up freaks out runs around frantic in her walk of shame clothes. She tracks firefighter Patrick down and tells him how urgent it is that they go get this divorce settled etc etc But Emma has to also plan her wedding today. Today right now! All the appointments. Since you can't take 2 separate cabs & meet at the courthouse around 2 PM Patrick goes with Dr.Lloyd to taste wedding cakes! Just the two of them, a day around New York, both of them with fiances.

Let's talk about wedding cake. Do you know how often I crave wedding cake? Very frequently. I understand that wedding cake doesnt mean "white cake" or "devil's food cake" that it can be any kind of cake, but it always tastes better at weddings. At weddings you are so blitzed from the open bar that the wedding cake has no calories & who cares if Cousin Joey is feeling you up on the dance floor- as long as he's not your cousin- and there is an ample supply of dirty Shirley's & buttercream frosting. Wedding Cake, let's do this.

This movie can now go two ways.

1) Patrick Sullivan and Emma Lloyd get divorced. Sullivan goes back with the fiance that Dr.Lloyd advised to leave him & Dr.Lloyd marries annoying Colin Firth.

OR

2) Running all these errands together Patrick & Emma find so much appeal in the new stranger next to them because they are bored out of their minds after boning the same person for years and somehow think this will be different. It will be different because Colin Firth is so annoying. They could stay together and the uptight Upper East Sider could forever love the firefighter from Queens despite their quirky differences.


If this was a proper made for TV movie neither of those scenarios would take place and Patrick Sullivan's original fiance would stalk & murder Dr.Lloyd who ruined her life and married her man. Colin Firth could also end up turning into a zombie, infecting Jeffrey Dean Morgan who bites Uma Thurman thereby letting us now how shit got started before episode 1 of The Walking Dead.

Don't watch this one. Just imagine the last scenario a few times. Ahhhhhh!!!!

I Do (But I Don't)

"Do you want some pie?"
"Ya know, I do...but I don't"

Just kidding, guys. Unfortunately, I don't think there have been any made for TV movies about binge eating. Please correct me if I am wrong so I can watch too! Anyway, I just turned on this little gem starring Dean Cain & Denise Richards because they are taking too many damn sidebars during the Casey Anthony trial. Like I really have a whole day to spend watching some bug expert.
Yawn.
So, I turned this on about 10 minutes in. Oprah isn't on either because of some sport. I don't remember which.

Anyway, Denise Richards is so pretty. I always forget. There is something freakishly symmetrical about her face. Take a look at her face in case you forgot. So, Denise Richards meets the man of her dreams! She is divorcing a douche bag that was getting some pootang on the side and it must really suck to get a divorce when like Denise, you are a wedding planner. So the man of her dreams? Hunky firefighter that kind of looks like Superman. Don't we all want to marry Superman? I guess not, but Dean Cain doesn't age and I guess that's charming.

It turns out that Denise is planning Dean's wedding. I don't know their movie names, it's one of those experiences where there is not enough to help you pretend.

Dean is marrying a bitchy blond and the movie isn't over yet but my money is Dean leaves the blond fiance BUT only after he catches her having an affair or something like that. Even though the pig is totally already having an emotional affair with Denise Richards. They are totally chasing a dog named Snicker's around a wedding.

The music is cute though! You're so pretty, Denise.

Everyone has AIDS (Especially pretty Lifetime blonds)

I hate a Lifetime Movie that makes me want to take an STD test on a daily basis. After watching She's Too Young I was pretty sure my cervix was a tumor. HIV is a whole other matter. It's not funny, and RENT has gone off Broadway. Regardless, this was one of the best Lifetime Originals I've viewed in a long while. This is stuff that really happens. Seeing the way it's portrayed can be over the top or exaggerated, but this is one of the times where a point needs to be made. I know so many people in their 20's who think that they could never catch an STD, let alone HIV & teenagers are even worse when it comes to thinking about consequences.

Girl, Positive stars little Julie from Desperate Housewives (Andrea Bowen) as Rachel, a 17 year old high school. Rachel is an upper middle class senior with a fairly attractive & cocky boyfriend named Greg, a starring place on the soccer team & a single mom who dresses like a ho because she's trying to hit the dating scene again at the fresh faced age of five-two. When the movie opens the school is grieving the lost of their old football hero, Jason. After graduating Jason dies in a tragic car accident. You can see banners of the kid hanging all over the school & a lot of students are quite torn up.

Enter Jenny Garth, as adorable substitute teacher Sarah. She bikes to school with ear buds in! Aweee. Anyway, the assistant principle is real into her but Sarah is super dismissive of male attention, one of those attractive size 2 beauties that looks shocked when a dude wants to ride the pony. Maybe Substitute Teacher Sarah has a deep dark secret or maybe she knows that this dude will go on to play Scott Peterson in his next flick. I mean, how can you trust someone that plays Scott Peterson? Totally not taking a ride out on your boat, buddy.

Sarah is a good sub. She makes ya think. She talks about medical breakthroughs. And when AIDs is brought up she is pretty surprised to hear how the kids in Biology class think they could not get HIV. She does one of those "When you sleep with someone you are sleeping with everyone they've ever slept with" things. Bobby in the corner says kids around here don't use needles; Tracy in the front row says all her partners have been clean. Sarah looks ready to flip her shit & makes the class stand up to explain how easily HIV can be spread. The viewer at this point knows that shit is going no place good. When you have the whole senior class standing up in a scenario where they've all spread around this nasty virus, stuff is going to get real.

After soccer practice, Greg lures Rachel into some sports closet. She takes her top off, standing all hot and sweaty in her sports bra & he tries to put it in without a condom. "Don't worry," he tells Rachel, "I'll pull out." It as this moment that Rachel surprises me by refusing the Pull-out Prince. She tells him she doesn't want to get knocked up and blissfully prances out of the sports equipment closet they were ready to smush in. Looks like he will not be getting his tip wet on this occasion.

Then one day after school, Rachel is filling out college applications for her boyfriend Greg (Rachel, I feel you, being 17 totally sucks, that is the kind of stuff I would have done in high school, but luckily my boyfriends didn't need to apply to the local Junior College) While writing his purpose in life and favorite animal essay she is simultaneously vid chatting with her BFF and perusing a site similar to Facebook with a hint of MySpace, I believe they call it "FacePage". FacePage, hell yeah. Anyway, someone posts a link on Rachel's page and you're not going to believe what it is. A police report from Jason's car accident! Apparently dude was high on heroin (busting a myth from biology class that none of the students use needles). How do we know that he wasn't just smoking the stuff? Or more ideally for the body, snorting it? Because Rachel then receives an instant message from "Concerned Citizen" with a link.

In the link is our hometown high school football hero shooting up.

Concerned Citizen: Jason had HIV, Rachel. Do you?

Butterfly7492: Is this a joke?

Concerned Citizen: Remember the "Best Friends Forever Party"?

Buh buh bum! And here we have the flashback. Young virgin Rachel effing HS Football hero. She is totally into it, so props for that Lifetime, I was expecting one of your "she's real drunk & this is rape" scenes. But no, instead it's some straight up boning complete with moans and smiles. Unfortunately, Rachel of yesteryear is not as smart as homegirl now a days, so when she asks Jason if he has 'protection' and he replies 'No, but I'll be really careful.' She allows him to blissfully hit that.

This is the brilliance of the whole thing though. Because that's how it really goes down, ladies. And all it takes is that one minute with some dude where you are-- to quote J.Lewis "a little bit drunk & lookin' for company"-- and you decide that hey, I know this guy & I want some, so go for it man. It seems these are the situations where you get yourself a baby or an STD. And watching Rachel sob over the computer monitor, you have to feel for her. You also have to wrap it before you tap it.

Sarah volunteers at the "Downtown AIDS Clinic" which looks like a cross between Planned Parenthood & the local methadone clinic. Rachel goes into take a rapid test, but freaks out and leaves the results on the counter. Sub. teacher Sarah finds the test. Enter title "Girl, Positive," and you've guessed it-- two little lines (which I guess is just not the thumbs up for pregnancy). The next day after class, she tells Rachel. So uncool, man. But we'll let it slide. Jenny Garth knows whats up. We see her at home with tons of bottles of meds, puking and throwing a fit. AZT cocktail spilled all over the floor. Looks like the two prettiest white women in the film are both HIV positive.

Mentally cue some RENT to the montage of Sarah & Rachel sobbing in their independent households:
"Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care-are? Will I wake tomorrow from this night-mare-are?

To find out how the rest of the school reacts you're going to have to watch this yourself. I suggest that you do. I also suggest that you consider donating some $ to one of these organizations:

www.aidsresearch.org/donate/

www.amfar.org/

And remember readers, always be safe, always use protection & get tested regularly. Most people with STDs don't say that they have them because they do not know that they have them. So it is up to you to take care of yourself & your body. Whether it's at the Best Friends Forever Party, Prom, and especially in the Smush Room @ The Jersey Shore House.

Until next time....

Tori Spelling-- rebel? revolutionary?

Before we had collegecallgirl.blogspot.com and "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" playing on Showtime-- we had Tori Spelling starring in:

Now Co-Ed Call Girl is not a Lifetime Original Movie, it was made for CBS, but who cares? This one is definitely a classic.










Like all of us college girls, Tori finds herself strapped for cash. She meets a great group of people who own large beach houses and drive nice cars. And they tell her that all she has to do is put on the nice dresses they give her and go on out on dates with nice wealthy gentlemen. It seems she has really found her dream. This girl wont have to work at Dairy Queen over the summer.

Unfortunately, for Tori, she will have to put out. all the time. with everyone.

oh Tori

I just ordered this


Happy Birthday to me

THE INSPIRATION FOR THIS BLOG (REPOST FOR NEW READERS)

I can thank Lifetime movies for a lot of things. Because of them I had a very distorted idea of what sex was until I actually started having it. Lifetime movies like to focus on topics such as (but not limited to) spousal abuse, rape, eating disorders, drinking problems, abusive mothers, abusive fathers, having an affair with someone else's abusive father, a boy spreading sphyllis to his whole school, pathological liars, and how pornography can ruin your life.

Lifetime never ruined my life, it only made me that much crazier. And I sincerely thank all of the movies from the bottom of my heart.

In this posting of "A Lifetime Original Blog" I'd like us to remember the great love story told in She Cried No


rapes

in






An old correspondence:


Ashley,
Kelly Kapowski, you are really lucky that Zack Morris didnt rape you. Later on (lifetime original) he rapes DJ Tanner at a fraternity costume party. I'll admit, DJ did have it coming- but not anymore than Kelly Kapowski.
Is this because D.J had a naturally round face, much rounder than Kelly's? Is it because she left her family behind in San Francisco and never called her sisters Michelle and Stephanie?
D.J's roommate also gets raped, but apparently she did not "cry no".

-Daniela


Daniela,

Kelly Kapowski got hers, too. At 1:15am last night on Lifetime, our dear Kelly was raped in her mother's bed by Jace, the leader of "the crew." Well, no one believed our Kelly when she tried to rat on Jace, and the entire small community of Lockwood, Ill turned against her; writing salacious remarks about Kelly all over the school bathroom, showing up at her house to scare her, making prank calls, even cutting off her hair (although I must admit it turned out quite cute.) Thank God Brian Austen Green finally saw the light and went from head tormenter to boyfriend within the course of a commercial break.In the end, Kelly goes off to junior college, leaving her loser small-town enemies behind, and promoting a slew of middle-school girls the world over to formulate rape fantasies of their own. The end.

-Ashley

Sex, Lies &Obsession

"Based on a true story. A happily married mother (Lisa Rinna) seems to have the perfect life. Her world is shattered when she discovers that her husband (Harry Hamlin) is a sex addict."


That little caption is from Lifetime.com my mind is BLOWN. I am currently reading the comments and everyone is saying things like "this is the best lifetime movie EVER" and asking when it will air again??

Okay, listen ladies, it will air again at my house whenever (I recorded it on DVR) and you can come over and watch it. During this time I will tell it to you like it is.

This is a cautionary tale not a fairy tale!!!

This is a Lifetime title with promise. In the early 90's, this title alone could have pushed the movie forth to be with other Lifetime classics (i.e Mother May I sleep With Danger?) but alas, it is 2009 and Sex, Lies &Obsession, which originally aired in 2001 is making it's second round.


SLO chronicles the life of a loving husband and father of two, Cameron. There is just one thing you see, a small catch. Cameron cannot keep it in his pants.



During the first thirty minutes we see him:

1)wake up in the bed one of his missstressses
2)look at porn
3)while Cameron is waiting at the airport to go on a "business trip" to see a Lady Friend in Pittsburgh, he catches the attention of a flight attendant (then they do it)
4) arriving at his hotel he figures he should kill some time before banging his Lady Friend so he asks the concierge "I have never been to Pittsburgh-- what are the areas of town I should arrive?"
as the man behind the counter tells him the streets to avoid, Cameron scribbles them down on hotel stationary and is out the rotating gold doors, hopping in a cab and giving the address
5)upon arriving in the bad part of town we see a lot of trash cans on fire and then a decrepit building with a flashing sign "MASSAGE" Cameron enters for some rub &tug




He returns with a gift for his beautiful wife, who has just found out she has been awarded "Teacher of the Year" lately Lisa has become a little suspicious of Cameron. Why all of these business trips? Where is he going?

Well, Joanna, today is Judgment Day

Cameron forgets his brief case, so Joanna drives to the hospital to deliver it to him like the doting wife she is.


BUT when she pulls up to the hospital....Cameron is driving away. How could this be when he had a surgery scheduled? Joanna follows him figuring he is probably going to Subway for a tasty foot long. To her shock and horror he pulls into a shady apartment complex and begins to make out with a blond woman.

Horrified, she goes home and waits. When Cameron finally returns Joanna makes a very un-lifetime move and kicks Cameron out of the house!!!!!!


Will he ever be let back in?

I'll let you know in Part 2


Okay....Part 2

the answer is: yes


What does cameron do when he gets home???

Has phone sex.

What does Cameron do when his son walks in??

makes him promise not to tell


When does Cameron finally get caught?

Well, a lot happens. Cameron drives to "the bad part" of town to pick up a prostitute. She is approximately sixteen years old &normally only sells The Dope but today she will make an exception. She leads Dr.Cameron down into a basement, he begins to unzip his pants, she is standing next to a table shaking &says "hold on a minute, I need to do something real quick." After she smoked crack, they "make love" and he hands her twenty-dollars. Twenty dollars, now that is a steal my friends.
He also gets beat up by her pimp &tells loving wife Joanna that the bruises are from the boxing gym.

But not soon after this is Cameron cruising the streets lookin' for some hookin' when he is arrested by an undercover cop posed as a lady of the night.
Who does he call to get him out? Joanna.

When she arrives at the station, the women behind the desk tells her he is in for SOLICITATION OF A PROSTITUTE dun da dun dun da dun dun da dun!!!!

Joanna is told "that's what all of these women are here for" she then sits down with a group of wives who are joking around about their silly husbands getting busted again. "I just hope they don't run their names in the paper tomorrow," one exclaims, as if her football team lost and she doesn't want anyone to know.

When Joanna is ushered back Cameron informs her that he didn't do anything wrong and asks for a ride home. Joanna (unlike Lifetime) does not forgive him and instead leaves us with this brilliant quote:

"you don't have a home......at least not with me you don't"

Ohhhh....burn...what will you do Cameron?

Well now shit gets crazy so let me just summarize. Joanna finds out that the apartment she drove to when she discovered the affair was in fact not the blond haired woman's but Cameron's own place! It is stocked with porn and playboy and plenty of condoms (aw, keepin it safe) sadly there is no sex swing. It seems that this is where Cameron brings back his lady friends (aka hookers). Joanna, cotarded, lies on the bed until Cameron walks in. Porn is playing in the background, and in a sense he seems sincerely sorry.

This is when Joanna disappoints me. She 1)does not kill him and 2) agrees to help him through couples counsling

While waiting to get an AIDs test a young girl in the waiting room tells Joanna she thinks her boyfriend is a "sex addict" Joanna who has apparently never heard the term stops and pauses "sex addict?" Could Cameron needing to get his tip wet at all times really just be an imbalance of the brain?

She decides "of course"

During couples counsling Cameron acts like a five year old and refuses to answer questions, leaving in his car and pouting. Cameron wont talk about his father and I was realllly hoping there'd be some great traumatic story but when the truth is revealed three sessions later all we learn is that Cameron's father too had affairs!

Now it all comes full circle, Joanna pities him and he agrees to take polygraph tests, admitting that he has had hundreds of lovers over the years but still loved her the most!!!

Joanna, you were always first wife. They live happily ever after


SO even if this is a true story like it claims to be this does not mean this is what anyone should do!! The trauma this causes their children and the example this sets about cheating be okay as long as we slap the term "sex addiction" on it seems complete insane to me.

Lifetime, you blew my mind. How is this possible? It was you Lifetime Television for Women that taught me not to blink an eye, to know a rapist when I saw him (every man I've ever met), to look for the money under the mattress, to find the poetry in throwing up) ohhhh LIfetime!! How could you???


from MarriageRestored.Com

Sex, Lies, & Obsession

I watched Sex, Lies, & Obsession last night. It starred Harry Hamlin & Lisa Rinna who are husband and wife in real life. They portrayed their characters well though Lisa's bad collagen job on her lips (not trying to be mean here. I am sure she is a good and lovely woman. I just don't see where she needed the bigger upper lip) was somewhat distracting.

The movie accurately portrays the life of a sex addict. Harry Hamlin plays Dr. Cameron Thomas, a man lost in his (seemingly) uncontrollable urge for sex. He has multiple partners come to his secret apartment. He visits peep shows, strip bars, watches porn on screen, print and internet and attempts to hide his secret life by constantly lying. He also puts on the facade of good husband and father though his wife can feel the distance.

The movie does an excellent job of capturing the sex addiction in the dialog. I don't know if it was great filmmaking but the essence of sex addiction was revealed. I am guessing it would have been a bit teachy for an academy film but, hey, films have many different purposes and this one accomplished its goal of showing the underlying factors and truths about sex addiction through story.

SEX ADDICTION IS NOT ABOUT SEX. It's a chosen means to fill a gaping emotional and spiritual void. This comes through loud and clear. In this movie one of the contributing factors was a young Cameron being confidant and secret keeper with regards to his father's constant infidelity.

The film showed an accurate depiction of the recovery process. Pardon my lack of verbs here. The lying. The lack of control. The unwillingness to admit a problem. Claiming a high sex drive. The continuation of the minimization, denial, justification and rationalization. Hitting bottom. Admitting a problem. Still dealing with minimization, rationalization, and justification. Resistance to feeling deeply. Not wanting to be labeled a sex addict. Sees that as a freak or pervert. Getting in a community where real honesty and questioning can begin. A total commitment to honesty with everyone especially his wife. Real emotional, spiritual and physical intimacy begins to take place. All this in a 3 steps forward, 2 steps back process. Those are the high points anyway.

The film showed an excellent picture of a 12-step recovery group. It really can be a supportive place where believed lies can be debunked and truths then owned. It can be a place where a friend comes when one is battling temptation on a street corner filled with prostitutes. It's a place where one can finally be real and will be called on his bullshit when it comes out of his mouth. It's a place one can be accepted in his or her struggle.

One final excellent point the movie made. The sex addict loves his wife. Even when he was with all the other women he still loved his wife. This wasn't about her. It was about his aching, gaping black void in his soul and finding temporary relief through sex. He didn't ever quit loving her.

Caveat, there are two brief displays of nudity when Cameron hits his bottom. This wouldn't be appropriate for a recovering sex addict in the early stages of his recovery to view. I think they could have been left out but I didn't make the movie.

I think this movie can be helpful for therapists, wives of sex addicts, friends of sex addicts and anyone who believes that sex addiction is about sex.

(P.S-- I had my man friend sit through this movie with me and at one point he asked of Lisa Rinna in horror 'what is wrong with her lips?' I told him I was pretty sure she'd had work done. Upon further research of course she has. And um, Oh my god, she is only 45? and this movie came out 8 years ago? so that would have made her 37???

The moral of the story don't get too much Botox or your husband will fuck the neighborhood)

mommmma

"Mother May I Sleep With Danger?"
is not only one of the greatest titles for a movie, but it is also one of the most quotable films to watch in syndication.




Tori Spelling: you drugged me....this is kidnapping

crazy boyfriend: no baby, this is a romantic vacation


and here is a bit of trivia from imdb.com

"Trivia for
Mother, May I Sleep with Danger? (1996) (TV)
* During the early stages of filming, Spelling was bitten quite severely by a tame pangolin being used in an adjacent production. In certain scenes, bruising from her rabies inoculations are clearly visible."



I have a fever of 101.3 degrees, I am watching Tori Spelling escape from her crazy boyfriend via paddle boat. I will start updating more again when finals are over!!

Until the answer to the movie title is "yes"

be well my pretty ones <3

A Face to Die For

So, it's Saturday night &I am utilizing all of the resources New York City has to offer me by laying on my couch and watch LMN.
I also ordered mozzarella sticks and may wonder to Union Pool at 2 AM, but that's a whole other blog and a whole other story.

So far I relate to Yasmine Bleeth's character who is a burn victim. I turned the movie on 10 minutes into it so I lost a crucial plot point but from where I picked up, she has a shitty boyfriend who wears a bandage on his face and tells her that if they rob her employer together he will love her and her deformed face forever.

Yasmine's, named Emily in said film, is employed by an old man who keeps a large safe. Emily's boyfriend convinces her that they will take all the money from the safe and then send the old man a check. The shitty boyfriend/husband shoots the old man, and Emily goes to prison for a crme she didn't commit!!

In the Big House Emily is tormented by everyone because hey she is deformed.

Note: She really doesn't even look that bad, she looks like Yasmine Bleeth with enlarged veins

Anyway, one day on the playground she gets the shit beat out of her which leads to her getting her already fucked face even more fucked. She's brought to the Prison Doctor who is vaguely hot in the Lifetime Rapist hot kind of way. He tells her he has a special surgery that he could do for her, it could be very risky though.

Skip to commercial break yadda yadda. Emily is brought to a mansion? where the surgery will be performed. The Doctor is wooing her and gives her new clothes in white wine and she is just all "golly gee me I am just the ugliest thing what did I ever to do to deserve such kindness?"

Well, Yasmine or "Emily" you were burned/scarred/mutilated as a child by your drug addict mother, you were tricked by your shitty bandage on his face boyfriend, and then you
went to jail for no reason....sooo I think it's fair to say that you deserve your luck to turn around.

And turn around it does...she awakes from the surgery and you will not believe it but, she has the face of Yasmine Bleeth.

Next on her list: VENGEANCE





I still have 45 minutes left to go.

today's movie schedule

Here is todays movie schedule from LMN.tv If I was you I would skip Forever Love &Verdict in Blood But highly consider recording Baby Monitor: Sound of Fear & caution: My Best Friend's Husband is actually not that good. Way too much moral conflict and not enough immediately having sex with your best friends husband. The only reason you should record this one is if 1) you are having sex with your best friends husband 2) you want to watch it with her and then 3) you want to say "so I've been meaning to tell you something" Thursday, September 25, 2008
10:00 am	Forever Love CC		4.5 of 5
12:00 pm	Her Best Friend's Husband CC		4.5 of 5
2:00 pm	The People Next Door CC		4.5 of 5
4:00 pm	Baby Monitor: Sound of Fear CC		4.5 of 5
6:00 pm	Christie's Revenge CC		4.5 of 5
8:00 pm	Moment of Truth: Justice for Annie CC		4.5 of 5
10:00 pm	Too Young to Die? CC		4.5 of 5
12:00 am	Verdict in Blood CC		3.5 of 5
2:00 am	American Tragedy CC		4 of 5
6:00 am	Verdict in Blood CC		3.5 of 5