Tuesday, September 23, 2008

husbands &haters


From Husbands Against Lifetime:

My HALT Horror Story:

One day like any other day, I was innocently working up in my office. My wife was watching a Lifetime TV movie. A typical man-hating cheese flick where the wife catches her husband pulling a Lewinski with his secretary. The woman proceeds to take her revenge and take her husband to the cleaners. Of course making all men look lower then sludge in the process. This same premise is regurgitated in many different forms on Lifetime!

After the movie was over my wife promptly came upstairs to my office and wacked me across the back of the head saying "If you ever did that to me I’d give you a Bobbit and feed it to the dog". Naturally I recoiled at the thought of that. I proclaimed my innocence and cursed the wicked evil channel that is Lifetime TV!

And thus the seeds of HusbandsagainstlifetimeTV.com was born!

A few months later, again my wife decides to torture me by watching Lifetime one afternoon. This time she decided to invite a friend over to share in the pain. I make a hasty retreat to my office (I am a geek by trade after all). I come back downstairs after a bit and they are both on the couch crying. I grab something to drink and go back upstairs.

I come down stairs about 2 hours later and they are both still crying! "Man, what the hell is this movie about! You've been crying all afternoon!" I asked them.

They both replied "It's a different movie"!!

I'm waiting for the first woman to die from dehydration from watching Lifetime TV!! It's only a matter of time!!"

The first woman to die from Lifetime dehydration could very well be me.

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