Tuesday, September 23, 2008

who knew?

When I was 13, I saw the movie Kids which convinced me that myself and almost everyone I knew would die of AIDs if we began fornicating. I was pretty sure even if I practiced safe sex, I would one day wake up on a couch with a boy singing "i'm casper the friendly ghost" and putting his HIV semen inside of me. This delayed my need to see a penis in real life for probably about 4-6 months

But these are modern times, and instead of scaring kids about the risks of HIV, lifetime has decided to move on to other STDS. Now I warn you, if you are under 18 and you are going to view these clips, they may delay your urge to see a penis in real life for 4-6 weeks.

I bring you: She's Too Young

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7

She's Too Young
tells the tale of Hannah, and her best friend Emma from Degrassi. They are normal high schools crossed with the girls from the movie 13. What makes them unique is that they go on a rampage giving blowjobs (these oral experiences are basically forced on them, while fake rap songs play in the background) This leads to everyone in the school spreading around some pretty gross stuff. You honestly have to sympathize with Hannah, because she wants to make older boy Nick (Nick has a car and hair like he's on the original 90210) like her. Emma from Degrassi on the other hand, eh. Even though there is a priceless scene where she spends about forty-five minutes counting up her sexual partners. I feel ya girl, trust me I feel.

memorable quotes:

school nurse: you must be Nick

Nick: yeah?

school nurse: as you may know, you have been exposed to syphilis

Nick: okay? so give me my magic bullet &we're done here

school nurse: syphilis is a highly contagious disease, you may have infected others

Nick: You want names?

school nurse: that will be helpful

Nick: If you want my advice, you'd better stick them all....cause I probably did

Spoiler: Everyone gets syphilis, including Emma from Degrassi!!!

Youtube also provides us with fan music videos!!!

oh....to be 12 again

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